My Love/Hate Relationship:

There is a very thin line between love and hate.  Because both emotions require such a large amount of energy from oneself; they are somewhat one in the same.  The truly scary part is how easily the transfer can be made.  It can happen in an instant- and you weren’t even aware anything transpired. 

There are two things in this world that I love and hate the most. 

Macaroons and boys with tattoos.

You see, macaroons are one of the most beautiful and fickle things in the world.  You could do everything right from blending your TPT flour to the proper consistency to folding your whites in correctly but still they refuse to give you that perfect uniform foot.  You just want to cry and bang your head against the table. Why would they do this?!  Such betrayal! It’s heart breaking really! I just don’t understand… I did everything right! 

But in that moment where you see them uniformly rising in the oven like perfect discs you raise your hands to the gods and praise yourself for such amazing ability.    When you get to take them out of the oven and fill them, you notice how perfect and delicate each one is.  This is a truly religious experience.

The same thing applies with boys with tattoos.  Well, more or less. 

I have seen macaroons made a hundred different ways.  One to two to three additions of egg whites in some sort of fashion be it in a meringue or just plain whites.  Mixing, straining, pulverizing your almond flour, silpats, fiber glass, parchment paper, flat sheet pans, metal trays, rationale or convention oven, air or proofer drying, you name it, I’ve tried it.  And I think I found the perfect way.  You see, I have found it best to use old egg whites, at roomtemp.  Using a convention oven with a low fan.  Super flat metal sheet trays with very thin fiber mats.  And for the one real trick that is the opposite of what I have always been told.  Don’t be gentle and easy when folding in meringue.  Beat the living shit out of it.  Look for a beautiful shine and proper piping consistency.  Allow to dry out- place in oven and bake till set.  Pure perfection.

Which comes to my second love/hate relationship.

Boys with tattoos. 

I’ve tried all things, being aloof, super “fun girl”, self sufficient, one of the guys, inappropriate, thoughtful, and still haven’t found the perfect way to woo.  Boys with tattoos, and perhaps even ones without, are indeed super fickle.  I can’t dry them out in a 240F oven hoping that they will mature or hell, blend them to the proper consistency so they don’t act so self-important.   Trying different sheet pans attempting to make them more consistent in their affection and altering drying out times to see if maybe they learn how to take a proper girl out.   Perhaps, changing the ratio of sugar will keep them from being so mean sometimes.  I’ve even tried beating the hell out of them like my beautiful macaroons and again, NOTHING. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that macaroons are overall the better of the two.  They are beautiful, delicious, and if you treat them right, they never let you down.

Boys with tattoos...  Well, piss off.

-Youngest