Apparently, I am onto something.
A couple of months back, I wrote about the Modern Chicken, the flavorless poultry of men who come into your life and leave you with a bad taste in your mouth. (For original article, go to the Sept posting).
Since that article, I have had the (unfortunate) chance to hear more stories of Modern Chickens than anyone could ever stomach. Case in point, I just heard today two back-to-back stories of men dating women exclusively for a period of time and then just miraculously flying away from the scene, without an explanation or even a hint of what was coming. In both scenarios, the women each took it upon themselves to contact the Modern Chicken directly in hopes of getting some sense of closure and perhaps (if lucky) some reasoning to their strange behavior. And of course, the Modern Chickens did what they do best. They eventually sent some BS email or txt message explaining nothing and of course, apologizing for nothing.
Modern Chickens may be able to fly, but they also know how to peck—peck into your life without you even noticing, peck interest in you so you do the same, and just when you thought it was safe to think what you saw in front of you was a man and not some feathered fiend, they peck you right in the head or heart and leave you with nothing but a huge serving of disrespect.
It’s fight or flight, fellas. Animals do it. And apparently, Modern Chickens do it too. But I am fighting back.
Don’t you dare send an email for something you know you should do live. Don’t run from a scene and think you are in the clear. Don’t hide out from your responsibilities and social graces. Don’t send unnecessary and inappropriate messages via technology hoping you can still get under someone’s skin or better yet, their pants. And please, don’t waste anyone’s time. Don’t waste our mothers, our friends, or any woman that you know. You have a mother somewhere out there who hopefully raised you right or did you come from an egg?
And most of all, don’t waste mine. Because if you even think of it, I will hunt you down and defeather you so quickly and throw you in the fryer so fast, you won’t even know I served your sorry ass for lunch.
And Dad, yeah, I got that txt message for my birthday.
- Eldest
SR, with those pretty eyes you have total power over men. Why are you so pissed?
ReplyDeleteDid it work? Am I in your pants yet?
Love,
Daddy
P.S.
Happy Birthday for next year!
just a few words about men, from a man.
ReplyDeleteyou see, a boy is a boy. and a man is a man. neither one is the same. nor have they ever been. some boys LOOK like men. some men even LOOK like boys. but a man, is always a man. i guess ultimately it comes down to what one wants. for if you wanna play with boys, then plan on playing in the dirt. but if you want something more, then you might have to look somewhere different. you see, men don't usually hang out with boys, nor do they act like them. and always remember, boys are cocky. a man, is confident. neither one is the same. nor will they ever be.
a good man, is always nice to his mother. as well as his lovers. his hands aren't too soft. his friend's, aren't all cute. in life, he cares about more than just material things and money. he is kind to most strangers. and he's never afraid to say what's on his mind. even if it's all over.
not all men are Modern Chickens. but unfortunately, i agree, most of em are. i am not a Modern Chicken. nor are most of my friends. my best advice, if you're interested in a guy, find out who his friends are and how he treats his mother. that will tell you a lot about what kind of person he is. sorry, if i don't know you. your sister and i are friends. i'm happily spoken for but just wanted to take a moment to stand up for some of us good men, let you know that not all guys are bastards. that would be boys. or Modern Chickens.
i wish you luck
:) carlton